Cut out

Hearts are pushed,
pulled,
and frayed,

In dismay we clench to goodness,
and hollow out our bad,
a desperate digger,
shovelling hopelessly,
not for gold,
but to feel at ease,

please, please, please,

we beg ourselves to let go,
of our halves,
which are really our wholes,
but wire fences stretch up,
up our spines,
padlocked in place,
around our necks,
we cant breathe,

Once we find the key,
we are naked,
shamed,
freshly cast from hell,
an eden unto itself,
grasping at thin air to hold steady,

are you ready?,

The reflection in the mirror,
is a thin representation,
of our former self,
dead,
gone,
how long has it been?,
how long will it go on?,

continuous digging,
burrying the bad,
all the things you chose to do,
like a weed,
they regrow,
there’s no hiding from that part of you,
frantic panic,
tears at the drop of a word,
triggered,
figured out the crack,
in our invisible wall,

Walls around us,
gaze in silence,
watching,
not talking,
with unsympathetic eyes,
accepting your own lies,

how you despise yourself,

pity me,
help,

lips sewed tight,
out of fright,
the need to hide,
bundled up muffled in the safe,
inside,
a small you,
crying to be held,

yet no one will tell,
or see,
or hear,
or smell,
or pay you mind,

no,
they wince,
give excuses,
and leave you to your hell,
locked inside yourself,
a breathless panic,

how do I breathe again?

How do I sleep?

wake up?

get up and live?

At the start where it ends,
let it begin,
all over again.

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