Track of the days

I’ve lost track of the days,
and ways in which to be happy,

what an anger you’ve caused,
all down to your loss,
and it is indeed heavy,

on my mind,
on our souls,
we wish to have you once more,

but the angers seeds deeper roots,
growing into lashes of stems,
reaching out to the golden halo in the sky,
why oh why!?!?,
must I suffer to live,
everything I look at seems like shit,

I am sad,
I need him,

I cannot ask for much,
its not my nature,
ive come to wager that I am loved,
but the time moves differently for me,

it slow,
its empty and long,
all gone in a blink of an eye,
why aren’t you here?,
why I am alive?,

I want you to see me,
more now,
than you ever have before,

I could give him keys to my door,
but I fear he would laugh this away,

I am scared,

embrace me,

leave me alone,

hate me,

im tired,
all I want is my home,
to hold me in his walls,

and for my dad to come back whole,

I am the adult now,
not the child,
I feel alone.

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